Long before I knew my dear husband, he directed a Young Adult Singles Sunday School class at Second Baptist Church in Houston. Every year on Valentine’s, the single guys got together and cooked an elaborate meal for the single girls. The guys went all out. They cleared furniture in whoever had the biggest house at the time, set up tables covered in linens, confetti, candles, rose petals and then hit the kitchen preparing things like gumbo, roasted chicken, steak and creme brulee. He was sad to see how many people hated Valentine’s Day because they had been treated so poorly in the past. He wanted the girls to see they deserved to be treated like queens. He wanted to spread a kindness epidemic. He wanted the singles to embrace the season of life they were in and cherish the friendships God put in their life at that time. The song “While I am Waiting,” comes to mind.
I am often reminded of God’s perfect timing when I think back to this. After we got married, I happened to click an Evite link ‘show other events you have been invited to with this person’ to see if David and I may have shared an event together in the past. Neato. I was invited to that Valentine party year after year, even though I never went to that church. I also invited to his Singles ski vacation year after year. I never went to any of those. I can’t help but wonder if we would have hit it off so quickly back in 2004, or 2005 or 2006 had I gotten off my sad single horse and rode in to one of those parties. Of course we would have! But God knew when we’d be ready to meet. And since I put it off so long, luckily the engagement was fast. Meeting on Jan 31, 2007. Engaged May 5, 2007. Married September 22, 2007.
With all the angst and anxiety and grief lately as we continue to wait to be parents and continue to see parents on both sides suffer, David’s dedication to Valentine’s Day and making his woman feel like a queen came right on time this year.
With a hectic week, we opted for Valentine’s on Sunday. David cooked an elaborate Cajun-Brazilian fusion meal: of Pao de quiejo (Brazilian Cheese Bread), Moqueca (Brazilian Fish Stew), Crawfish Stuffed Filet Mignon with Crawfish Sauce Bordelaise with Beef Demi-glace and cinnamon Creme Brulee.
He is all about the details too. A dozen red and a dozen white roses graced the table, with vanilla candles and a David-created playlist soared through the speakers with some of my favorites like Adele, Etta James, Norah Jones and Billie Holiday. A card expressing his love for me with just the right words I needed this year, at this moment.
As I sat at the table being pampered, I looked at all the things that we have collected over the years to make Valentine’s Day so special and was instantly blessed and had a little Thanksgiving party. The crystal vase holding the flowers was a gift from him for our first Christmas together, the red wine (Coke) glasses were a gift from his mom on our second Christmas together, the heart-shaped plates were a gift from him last Valentine’s Day. What made me so grateful? Our years together and how much stronger our love has grown each year, despite the attacks from the enemy over and over again.
It is easy to think about those two empty chairs at our kitchen table, those empty bedrooms upstairs, still not having children, our infertility battle, still watching our parents suffer, all the heartache and grief that knocks the wind out of us daily. When you are single, it is easy to think about not having a partner, and all the other things we don’t have. It is harder to think about all that God has given us just for the moment, but I am sure this is the key to joy, faith and peace in the midst of a storm.
Expressing our gratitude is like having a little party in God’s honor. It is a way of feeding on his goodness, reminding ourselves what he has done for us. Thankfulness opens our eyes to God’s faithfulness, which in turn nourishes our faith.
My friend recently told me to take a walk and praise God for something with each letter of the alphabet. Don’t quit walking until you finish the alphabet, she said. I think I’ll have a few more gratitude parties in the midst of this storm. As I struggle with faith right now and feeling hopeless, I really think this will help.
Hebrews 11:1
Faith in Action
11 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for.
